Forever Temporary

I actually got that phrase couple years ago. It was a cigarette advertising billboard but somehow it made me thinks about life in general. I couldn’t get the meaning instantly, instead I kept that in my mind and used to make a conversation about it, also in my mind. And it really stroked me. Because I was agree and secretly hope for that. I know that there is no happy ever after in this life. Because we are actually like walking in a conveyor belt. Time will run no matter how we try to be in a certain phase. In my case, I am stucked at the child phase. It seems that I could not move on and being a true adult. Somehow in my brain, I secretly wish that all of my family and friends will still be there, nothings changed, beside me forever.

Until I watched the last sequel of How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World, and seeing how Hiccup and Toothless become. No I was not crying, the mother and son beside me were though. I had an indescribable irritating feel in my heart. I got reminded of the phrase. I got reminded of how our life could be so ended without any warning at all. I got reminded that we at some points have to let our best friends go, our families go, our favorite people go. Suddenly I felt very lonely. I don’t wanna it be over. I don’t wanna be a stranger to them and they are to me. But I know, that it is impossible. I think I am too stuck at the child phase. I can’t let them go sincerely. No matter how often we meet, at some points our siblings can not really care that much about us anymore. No matter how close and aligned we are, at some points our best friends have to live with their chosen ones and living their own life. Sooner or later.. well in my case it is sooner. We become their less priority, and then we become just a good memory. The laughs, the tears and the dreams that we’ve shared become stories that kept inside our mind. It is the hard truth for me. But I guess, it is the lesson that God wants me to learn. I actually got this lesson since I was a kid but I didn’t realize it yet.

Maybe, I refuse to become a true adult. Maybe a peter pan is real after all. I don’t know how to excel this kind of lesson. I don’t know how to put my emotion and to react about all of them. One thing that I know that, maybe, I will always believe that The Temporary things in my life actually could remain forever in my heart.

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