2020 – note to myself

We all know what kind of year 2020 is. Sometimes, I really don’t get it when we celebrate the new year. I mean, the difference of 2020 and 2021 is a second away. Nothing really big anyway. Why should we celebrate a new year? But then again, maybe, we just need a reason to be with other people. To sit together, to talk, to eat together, to meet up with friends and family. We need a “special occasion” or “big things” so that we would not have mind to waste a couple of hours, driving far, get tired, preparing the foods, cooking, washing the dishes and cleaning up the house again.

But 2020 is a different year for me. I still remember that last year, at least, I still spend time together with my big family. With my aunties, uncles, cousins… we eat together, walk together. But not with this year. Pandemic happened and that’s been changing everything.

Last year I wrote the last decade lessons. Something that I’ve learnt from a couple of years. But somehow, I feel like I want to write again. The big thing like pandemic have taught us many things. I want to make a note for myself. So that I could remember what kind of year it was for me.

This year is a bit special for myself because despite of the pandemic, I actually have done the things that I’ve been wanted for a long time.

1. I published my short story in an anthology book. It was an indie publishing house. But I’m still happy because of it. Moreover, I had many feedbacks and messages from the reader (who are mostly my friends of course. Thank you all.) that said they are touched by the stories. Some of them even cried because of it. It was beyond my expectation. I finally know how is the feeling to be able to connect with people through writings.
2. My book club mates Baca.Rasa.Dengar (BRD) is published the first book too. I also contributed in that book. We shared our point of view about books, stories, characters and many things. My book club is even bigger and more active during the pandemic. We had many online sessions, book review with some authors too. I am so glad to be able to get knowledge from various perspectives and various profession through this book club. What I love the most is our sharing session. I hope 2021, will be even better for BRD.
3. I wrote about Kdrama for Jakartapost newspaper. Of course I didn’t do it alone. My friend who is a journalist helped me a lot in structuring the article. But I am so happy that I could share my point of view about Kdrama. I don’t know who read that article. But I hope someone out there is inspired by that article and could try my Kdrama recommendation. Oh, it is published on 8 December. But I am sad I couldn’t buy the newspaper.
4. My interest and concern to the environment is getting bigger this year. Since I’ve been responsible for Sustainable Finance in my office. I am started to rethink about my habit also. I was so touched by the fact that for all this time, I didn’t really care about the environment. I didn’t really have an awareness about the impact of whatever I’ve done. So I promised to my self to be better. I know I am late. But better late than never. I have been starting to sorting my waste and recycling. I also try to use less plastic bags. And for my office, I was happy that I could organize the online sharing session, collaborating with WWF Indonesia to share about Sustainable Finance to my coworkers, especially the ones who are involved in financing process. I also learn about renewable energy more in 2020. Having many friends who accidentally worked in renewable energy industry also helped me. We often shared each other’s perspective and knowledge. We never know that maybe later we could work together, or have a project together, etc. I know that many people still don’t really care about this. But I believe that saving the environment will be our big project in the future. We need to do this to be able to live. So someone, had to start to do it. It was hard for me. But I am happy to get so many blessings and helps from other people too. Together we can!
5. I still enjoy drawing. Yeah, I was drawing for other people mostly. But every time I finished my drawings. I feel somehow content. Moreover, when I know the ones who get my drawings were happy and likes them. I know that my drawing skill is nothing compare to many illustrators and artists out there. Yeah there are so many talented people. But I believe we can never have enough artists. Every household needs at least one. So that our life could be more colorful.
6. I reconnected my my old self as a gamer girl. Since my brother bought video games when pandemic started (PS4), I think the one that use it more now is me rather than my brother. Lol. I can’t believe that I am still excited by those games. Oh, and the game is getting marvelous by each year. Sometimes it feels like watching a movie. Sometimes it thrills me. My favorite games this year were Resident Evil remake (of course), Horizon Zero Dawn (yeah to female first), and Ghost of Tsushima (Japanese philosophy is never boring).
7. I also learn in 2020 that it was really hard for me to understand people who have a different perspective. I thought it will be easy to agree to disagree. But the fact it was really hard. I am still learning about it. But I think, what you need to listen is your conscience. You know what is right for you when your conscience also agree to it. The problem is, not everyone have the clear conscience. And my conscience could getting dull too. Therefore, we need to keep it as pure as possible. Surrounding yourself around the people who shares the same view is important. So that you don’t get crazy. Lol. That’s why, when you meet the people who are connected to you, you have to try as hard as possible to keep them. You have to try for your relationships with them. People like that are really hard to find.

I regret the fact that as I work from home a lot in 2020. I also couldn’t keep with my exercise schedule. I previously do yoga in my office every Tuesday, and every Saturday with my class near home. But I couldn’t keep doing that. I also miss swimming so much. I really really hope that I could get back doing my favorite sport in the future.

As I travelled less in 2020, I didn’t use my camera so much. I actually miss photo hunting. Strolling around in new places and taking their pictures. Some people are traveling for fun, for shopping or maybe to try new experience. For me, most of the time, I travel to take pictures. I should have been going to South Korea for autumn. I even bought the plane tickets with mom and my little sister. We were sad of course. But the most important thing right now is to survive this pandemic. Many people loss their job. Some loss their homes. Some even loss their loved ones. Losing my opportunity to travel is considered to be nothing. Nothing at all.

Maybe what we need for every new year is not a celebration. Maybe what we need is hope.

And we can get it from anywhere.

So let’s hope that we could become our better self in the coming year.